confused...

A lot of people had been asking me about what I really want in life. I couldn’t give them an honest answer. I don’t know. I never think of it. All I want is to sit and stare – stare till my tears would fall out of my eyes, realizing that I never really had a future if I’m going to just sit forever. There are a lot of things that been bugging me. It keeps on entering in my brain, yet I couldn’t even decipher what it is all about. I couldn’t do anything that would, definitely, change my life. I don’t have any idea on what’s going to happen to me or to the dreams I’ve been aiming since I was a kid. I guess everything I dreamed of already disappear since the time when I spoiled myself into the things that would make me lonely.

When I calculate the things I have now, it makes a negative value.